why a shake takes four minutes

There is no soft-serve machine in this building, and there never will be. What we have is frozen custard, a steel cup, and a spindle that has been rebuilt twice.

Each shake is ninety seconds on the spindle, and the machine takes three cups at a time. That is the whole ceiling. On a Saturday at midnight it means a wait, and we would rather you wait than hand you something thin.

The custard goes in at a temperature we actually measure. Too cold and the spindle just carves a hole through the middle; too warm and it drinks like milk. There is a two-degree window and the whole thing lives inside it.

So when the counter says four minutes on a shake, that is not a hedge. That is three cups ahead of yours.